I am not a dirty girl.

I am not a dirty girl. Wait..i am not a girl anymore. Thanks for calling me a girl but what is dirty?
I 've recently heard people in their 50s come up to me and say - "I love your work sharul, you dirty naughty girl!" Hey..thanks for the compliment but what's with calling me dirty or naughty? What do you mean anyway? Is my face filled with mud or am i wearing soiled clothes? So then i figured. They mean i spew these bad words sometimes and might say some inappropriate things like for example : SEX. May i ask? Why is sex considered dirty in asian countries or why is it considered dirty anyway?
Don't you folks sit around your group of men and women and share these sex jokes during parties and laugh to yourselves. Then why is it wrong if i take the mic and tell a couple of sex jokes. To be completely honest, i hardly have any sex jokes but even if i did..EVEN if i did..why is it naughty?

I am no dirty girl. I thought i was when i was little. I thought it was wrong to even think of sex till the age of 18. Cause that's the legal age for many things..i thought one day when i turn 18..suddenly, it'll be ok to think of sex and all these thoughts would just gush into my mind cos they finally have permission to but till then..let me just control all these thoughts and not let them in. Suppression. I suppressed my sexual thoughts for the longest time. Of course i was human so when thoughts would enter this little sharul's head at the age of 14…she would close her eyes shut tight and start praying and then her thoughts would be a culmination of sexual positions and deities which would then lead to more guilt and suppression. Is it just me? Is it? No, its not. I am sure that millions of asian teenagers have been through the same.

Around that same age, i started liking a boy. Or i thought i liked him. It was  flowery imagination of singing around in a park with him and being a submissive little lady with household chores as responsibilities. I let myself indulge in these thoughts about him for years. So did i like him? No. I liked the scenarios i created around him in my head with him being my hero. Was he that hero? No. Did i have sexual thoughts about him? No. It was all emotional. So i emotionally developed and sexually became so much more suppressed. I didn't know why i had so much pent up frustrations in my body. My body was extremely hot and i don't mean it sexually again. You see? I had hormonal issues..pimples popped onto my face like it was some sort of 'pimples unite gathering'. Till today, my skin breaks out with these pimples. I have just learnt how to live with them now. I blame this sexual suppression for the cause of my bad skin. I do. No release.

It's weird cos we are never meant to enjoy our sexuality..boys or girls. Why don't we ? Why do we  get shy at the prospect of masturbation. Why don't we talk to our children and tell them that it is alright to feel these emotions. So many people out there go without being sexually active even after the age of 18 because they think its something they can live without. No. It's not! It is in our basic nature to be loved physically and enjoy our bodies. So am i dirty? No..i am not! I am absolutely healthy and i let myself be explored by my partner. So if i happen to talk about sex on stage someday and its a joke that happens to make people laugh..i will perform it! Cos its not dirty my friend, its life.


Thank you!

Love,

Sharul Channa

The Big Leap.

hey people.

So i have decided to get traditionally married. Yup. You heard it right and you heard it from a freakin blog..that's how i do it! You know i just really want to avoid the whole..this relative heard it from this relative heard it from this friend and then i have an argument in the house about who leaked the news out. Things are meant to be if they are meant to be. To be honest, i don't believe in the concept of 'the marriage' cos i have seen enough marriages with commitment issues. Marriage and commitment can co-exist but don't necessarily do. Still, i think our families need closure and i think alright.. let's give it to them. It's happening in November and i want it small so if you don't get invited…just don't invite me for yours! It's that simple. If you did invite me for yours and i can't invite you for mine - i am sorry..we have a quota! Its money people..i rather save that money for a holiday with my partner than spend tons making it huge. Its a personal ceremony anyway and all we want are your blessings. Which now boils down to the following QUESTIONS..

1. Where shall the wedding be held?
2. Do i really have to go india to shop for my wedding?
3. What food do we cater?
4. Can i not do some of the misogynistic ceremonies that are all man-made..(i probably won't)..

If you catch me looking lost and slightly disjointed..its is cos i am looking for a place to get married.

Yea..

Pretty much. That's it.

Love,

Sharul

Do I self-censor myself?

(Photography by Evan Murphy)

Do i self-censor myself? Sometimes. I am guilty of that. I live in a country like Singapore where i am forced to cater to groups of people from different ethnicities. Does that stop me from pointing out the cultural differences that i happen to notice? Nope. It doesn't. There is a fine line between making fun and simply pointing out our cultural differences. Then there are the audience members who say - "I am into smart comedy..you know? Intelligent jokes? You know not about race? Witty humor?"

I always laugh at such comments. Mr Bean has been making billions of people laugh with his physical humor..sometimes knocking himself down and sometimes getting himself involved in the most awkward situations ever. We burst out laughing at those "Just for gags" tv programs where people are punked into believing certain situations. We all laugh at those jokes. What is witty, intelligent , smart humor anyway? If you are making a room full of people laugh..its simple..you are funny. Stand-up comedy is all about personal experiences and often as comics we start off stating the cultural differences between different races that are obvious to us. And yet..you hear these statements. Smart humor might make you want to "think" but people watch stand-up for different reasons. Some want to hear your funny stories, some don't want to think at all and some want to be challenged. To those who want to feel mentally challenged..all i want to say is - there are other options..like for example Sudoko or a maths class. That's what i think. At least that's what i laugh at. Simple observations. We all get better as writers. The more we perform and watch other comedians..our writing gets better. Stage time is key here. You can't trade off stage time with anything. We jump up on stage and find new things every time we do. Sometimes we don't find anything. We get bored with our own jokes and then crack our heads to write something that means something to us but we try to take a different approach. 1000 ways to look at one subject. It isn't easy! I can tell you that! Having said that, if you love the art of stand-up..the writing process is such an exciting journey. From the writing pad to the mic - the joke evolves. Some jokes are funnier when written as a status update but the moment you say it out..it loses its charm. 

The one thing i am scared of is though  is self-censoring myself. I might have started doing that in the fear of hurting people. I need to get out of that bubble. Someone is bound to get hurt..i find my personal experiences painful but hilarious. When i am over the pain, i will be able to pick up the pen and write about the absurdity of it all. I am in process of doing that. In the middle of it all, i break down and then i continue writing till i start humoring myself. If you look close enough, every funny story has shades of tragedy in it. Nope, i am not depressed about anything. I am just trying to awaken those numbed areas of my experiences that i never wished to acknowledge. That process requires some shaking and waking up! You know how you sleep on your hand and then wake up feeling like its dead and then you frantically rub it into life again! Yup, that one. Awakening in process.

See you at the next comedy show.

Ta!

Warmest regards,

Sharul Channa

Open-mic.

OPEN-MIC

We enter the room with our little notebooks
mumbling to ourselves
fist bumping fellow comics
whispering remarks to our peers
We glance around the room to see
how many are there
how many seated
front seat
Looking at the line up
we see our position
we see who closes that night
One eyebrow raised and a smile
we eagerly wait for our turn
pacing in and out of the room like maniacs
Sometimes sharing new jokes with a trusted comic
Sometimes keeping to ourselves
typing statuses on Facebook to perform to social media
Fear, sweat, excitement,nervousness
Time to perform
We throw all that we have and make them laugh
some hits
some misses
End on high and leave
We scribble on our little notebooks again
Think why something worked
Why it didn't
Feeling optimistic that next time would be even better
with a hope to write an hour
with a hope to get more laughs
with the eagerness to perform yet again
We reach home
Slouched over
Looking at our laptops
and hoping we could perform this new joke
That just popped into our heads
to an audience
eagerly waiting for the next time
and the next
and the next
Open-mic

Long Overdue.

Hey hey folks!

So yeah, my previous rant was rather hard core and i didn't know what to blog after but i've come around and decided that i have so much more to say. Blogs are a thing of the past aren't they?At an age where we could just switch on the camera and say whatever we wanted to and just upload it on youtube, how many people actually want to type out and write a blog that might/ might want not be read. Having said that, writing just helps you release something off your chest and makes your 2nd level thoughts surface faster. That's where ideas for jokes rest. The second level. What does that mean anyway? I guess i mean to say..ideas for jokes rest in the subconscious mind and till you don't scratch the surface and talk about the obvious..you don't quite get to these hidden emotions,thoughts,expressions that are waiting to be felt,heard and expressed. So many things have happened in the past months. For one, I was part of a two handler stand-up/comedy skit show called 'The Rishi and Sharul Show' but apart from that i was just going through some emotional turmoils which i have pretty much sorted out now. Yes, it is extremely difficult for artists to write, perform and express when they have a sea of unresolved issues brewing inside of them  but i guess there is a way to cope and in the past few months i learnt how to do exactly that. Being able to use that chaotic energy to perform. There is something therapeutic about performing to a group of people. For an hour and a half - you just have one goal and that goal is to entertain. It helps you release the stress that you've been harboring inside of you from the turmoil. Theatre healed me these past few months. It's personally been a great learning curve.

I have decided to write so much more now and this blog seems to be an outlet i could use. Sometimes you just got to put it out there. It doesn't have to be funny all the time. It just has to connect. So here i am connecting.  Hope to write so much for myself now because i think it is even more important in a time like this to speak the truth or write it.

So, i ll be here writing much more and if you happen to find me here....perhaps i could somehow connect with you.


Love and regards,
Sharul Channa

Canvas Laugh Club, Mumbai - Please Pay Up!

Attention: Stand Up Comedians all around the world

 Serious matter guys. Here’s the set up.

I am a comedian based in Singapore and I write this post with grave concern and as a warning to all with regards to a negative experience with a specific comedy club in the city of Mumbai.

In the month of April 2014, I was hired, along with two other comedians from Hong Kong and The Netherlands, as part of an all-female comedy troupe, to perform at this club. ‘Hired’ might be the incorrect term, as you will learn later in the post.

They booked our flights. (Visa fees were paid by the performers, with a promise of it being reimbursed.)

Fees for the performances were agreed to be confirmed after the show, based on door sales. Upon completion of the show, an invoice was sent to me with the amount due. 

It’s been 6 months since the performance ended, and despite several emails, attempts at phone calls and requests to sort out the payment, nothing has been done. The employee who was dealing with me has also left the job and now there is no correspondence from the club.

Wait, that’s incorrect of me to say. There was one email from someone saying:

“We will look into it.”

They must be looking in the Bermuda Triangle, for they seem lost.

I thought I was alone, but apparently, several other comedians have performed at this club and have not been paid.

My aim of sharing this letter with the comedy community is to let you all know that this club, claiming to be the ‘only full time comedy club in Mumbai’, has allegedly done this with several comedians and we were just their latest victims.

As the one dealing with the club, my international colleagues asked me, “What’s going on with the payment from 6 months ago?”

I just shrug my shoulders, and have no answer.

It’s upsetting because they had heard stories of unprofessionalism, conning and cheating that happens in India, and this was raised as a concern as to whether we should do the show or not. I assured them that we are dealing with a professional team and India has progressed leaps and bounds in terms of professional working ethics, but, alas, I have been proven wrong.

My advice to any comedian who is being offered a show at this full time comedy club : do the gigs, only if you are treating it as an open mic show. DO NOT EXPECT TO GET PAID, regardless of what you are told or promised. If you are making the trip down to the city and the club, insist on cash payment BEFORE you go on stage. Otherwise, refuse to do the show.

Alternatively, avoid the club completely. There are many comedians in Mumbai who have the integrity, class and talent to put on a solid show, so if you like, I am happy to share those contacts with you.

The venue, staff and set up will make it tempting for you to do a show for nothing, because it’s a fab room with a great crew. So if you’re going in with that mindset, fair enough.  

However, if you are someone who wants comedy to flourish, and be a viable career option in your country, I propose you choose to work with someone who has a similar goal.

The audience in Mumbai is top notch and a joy to perform to, so don’t let your first show in the beautiful city with beautiful people be mired by an ugly experience.

To all comedians out there: you are a ‘stand up’ comedian, not a “get walked all over and exploited’ comedian.

Warmest Regards,

Sharul Channa

Singaporean Stand-up Comedian

Stop Nagging Your Spouse

Are you constantly nagging your spouse? Do you hear yourself telling your partner off all the time? For one, please know that your partner is not a child or a dog. He/she doesn't need to be stopped from what he/she wants to do - all the time!  - unless of course they pooping on the carpet or smelling another bitch's ass. Then you got to intervene and get a trainer. 

Do you have the 'Ignore Syndrome' where you are closely watching your partner at a party -  from a distance and acting like its all cool until you reach home and that's when you are going to unleash the claws and give your partner a lesson on what he/she should be avoiding. 

Do know that nobody wants to be told that they are wrong. Everyone has an ego that might get hurt and everyone just wants to have a good time. Here is the disclaimer : Your partner has  his/her own baggage and it could have been possible that they dated an abusive/ alcoholic/pedophile/psycho before you but you are not responsible to cure that shit. If you can't take it - move on. Still, stop nagging - this is the number 2 reason for why many relationships  have ended. Number 1 being -  murder. 

So what are the things that we nag our partners about? The following are the compilation of top 3 things we nag our partners about.

1.    ALCOHOL

Stop drinking! This is your last drink! 

Unless your partner is an alcoholic, please stop nagging your partner about having drinks. Unless of course, he/she makes an ass of himself/herself after a few drinks and it happens more than twice. Till then, please…let them be. You don't know how stress affects people and sometimes they just wanna kick their legs up and have a couple of drinks. Weird imagery but you get the point.

2.  YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ME

 If you can't enjoy a meal with your partner cos they are always traveling or busy - you both got to find time to be with each other. Nagging about it - not going to help. (Neither finding another bf/gf is )

 You got to ask yourself a question - are you not occupied enough with interesting activities or work ? You got to learn how to be comfortable with yourself being alone if you truly want to have a good time with your partner. Sometimes we push all of our loneliness to our partners and expect them to entertain us. If you need more of your partner's time - just ask. If he/she is being difficult and is completely avoiding you…strangely - it could be 3 reasons :

You Stink.

He/She is very stressed with work

He/She is planning a surprise for you

Most probably, the 2nd one!

Spend quality time with yourself too.

3.   YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.

A relationship requires work. Hard work. Don't be complacent in the relationship and don't expect your partner to know everything that you may want. If you want something - ask your partner. Don't just say - you don't love me anymore. Fight it out if you have to but don't nag about it all the time. Your partner will start believing that maybe the love is gone. 

If you want something ask - OYE! CAN WE GO FOR DINNER PLEASE? I MISS YOU!

Sometimes saying : " I miss you." can be so difficult to say. People are usually scared of rejection and don't want to sound needy.

Just say it. OYE ASSHOLE, I MISS YOU! Say it.  

Look at this list and the actual meaning behind the statements your partner might be making. 

Why didn't you call? :  Meaning : I miss you

Why don't you bring me out for dinner anymore? : Meaning : I miss you

How do i look today? : Meaning : I miss you

Why don't you spend time with me anymore?: Meaning : I miss you

Why did you shake hands with that guy/girl just now? : Meaning : I am psycho so break up with me

Nagging and being nagged at can drain you of your energy . You rather spend that time wisely saying things like : I love you. 

;)

Warmest Regards,

Sharul Channa

Nagging Partner of Rishi Budhrani